I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
