My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
