Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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