discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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