i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
