You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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