Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
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