My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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