i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
