My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
no you cant smoke seaweed
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
