Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
It's blow job season.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
My ass is underappreciated
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
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