I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
