Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
