you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
