Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
