Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
