is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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