im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
