How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
