Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
