Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
