sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
