cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
