i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
