he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
