so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
