I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
