We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
