they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
