just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
