i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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