That's when you crack a 10am beer
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
