All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I will be naked everywhere
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
