In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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