Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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