He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
