Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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