I wanna bring you to show and tell
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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