I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
