loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
