Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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