Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
