its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
