She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
