ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
