seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
