why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
