let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
foreskin is a definite game changer
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
