i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
