First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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