She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
you inspire me to be a worse person
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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