Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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