so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
