I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
