Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
True strength comes from lack of pants
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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