how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
